Deciding to have a baby

I’ve always been baby obsessed. I first learned what a midwife was when I was 5 and my little brother was born. I visited my own mama in the hospital and I could not believe there was a job where you got to hold tiny babies all day. At age 5, I obviously was oblivious to other skills and responsibilities held by our amazing widwives, all I saw was their warm faces and cuddles. So, from then on whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said “a midwife”. (I ended up working in IT, after getting a degree in History and Psychological Studies… it’s a long story)

I’ve always loved babies and children and while I’ve never been 100% sure what job would suit me best, I have always known that one thing I have always wanted to be, is a mum.

Even before meeting my partner, I knew I wanted to wait until later in life to have children though. I wanted to live my 20s to the fullest, get a stable, decent paying job and be well established before going there.

The first time I realised I really wanted to have a baby I had just turned 28 and was on vacation with my boyfriend in Dubrovnik, Croatia. I realised that every family that walked by me made me feel all gooey and hopeful inside, that one day that would be me on vacation with my family. All of a sudden it hit me; “I want a baby!”. I didn’t want one right that minute but it was almost as though I could hear my biological clock ticking and it wanted to me to reproduce ASAP. So we talked about it, we talked about our hopes and aspirations for the next few years and what we’d have to do in order to have everything in place to raise a family. He wanted kids too, I had known that from the start and we were on the same page when it came to what we needed to be ready to start trying for a baby.

A while later, towards the end of 2017 we knew that for most of 2018 we had lots of things planned that weren’t exactly “baby making friendly”, celebrating both of our 30th birthday’s and my sister’s wedding being at the top of the list. So we decided after September we would try if we could. That decision was a huge deal but I was so happy to be at that point of my life and relationship and I was ready for what was to come.

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